Monday, May 22, 2006

Cat-fight

Once more I've been risking my good looks and physical well-being by wading in bravely between two women who collectively weigh less than me. Then using all the strength and skill I possess to forcibly separate them. Only a few hair extensions missing this time and doubtless some quality forensic evidence under both parties finger nails.

Unfortunatley when two ladies of average stature start to fight they invariably reach out, talons unfurled and attempt to scratch or slap then grabbing hair they retreat. This retreat brings both of their heads well below the height at which they would remain visible in the dancing throng, even by a big bloke one step up. So inevitably I miss the preamble and just have to wade in.

Now I believe in equality, even for useless females. I treat all scrapping drunken punters with regard only to their physical size, their level of inebriation, my level of tedium and the ease of getting them out of the nearest exit. Considering their individual sizes I just grabbed and ran. The other lads were on their way to deal with the aftermath but I was heading doorwards, one tucked up in one arm, their feet flailing, the other hand clearing the throng. Not graceful but effective and amply illustrated the power balance of the situation. Good clear demonstrations of power often de-escalate situations as the brain starts to tell the adrenaline flight is the better half of the pair when long term immobility is a serious option.