Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Bitch Fights

There are more and more girl fights going on it seems. Not just the domestic skirmishes of the drunken butcher lesbians getting possessive over the even more drunken less butch lesbians. These always occur when too few Y chromosomes are present in the presence of alcohol and flirting.
No, this is the girl on girl scrapping over boys, ex-boys, drinks, dresses and the like which used to end in tears. Now its more often ending in full on bitch fights.
It's not just the hair pulling stand off where both parties get locked in an extended judo-like stance. These are always fun when you separate them and they both end up holding the other muppet's hair extensions and they have to hobble out in one high heel as the other shoe gets couriered to the front door by doorman express.
The type of things I'm running into more often are girls attempting to throw punches or each other around. I've seen a good girl on girl left hook but that was only once. Luckily the participants skill level is a lot lower than their blood alcohol or their anger level. This doesn't stop them attempting to bottle each other or even try and shove a broken bottle neck into the others face.
It poses an issue for the mainly male door teams though. If it's an old fashioned hair-pulling stand off you can see it's not escalating in a hurry. You can overwhelm both parties when support arrives and by bulk alone get both parties to submit to an exit in disgrace.
When it's a whole load faster and nastier, you can get a quick radio shout out but have to think fast. If I flatten one or both, they'll likely end up in A&E. If I leave it, crimes will be committed, A&E will still beckon and I'll have explaining to do.
What I do usually is move fast and light, enough to alter the situation in my favour but not incapacitate anyone. It's not ideal. I could end up with a punch or bottle coming my way but I feel better taking the risk than having to scrape bits off the floor every time. Others I work with seem to form a spectrum of views on this. I don't know what the right approach is but I'll need to find one with the increasing proportion of my physical interventions drunken chavvete fights are taking.