Monday, September 22, 2008

Feathers & Shit

I hate the pointless, low value imported chinese night out accoutrement that hen do's feel the need to adorn their entire party with before staggering 'round town to end up in the club I'm at. Stag do's occasionally have a bloke in a wig and a dress but they'll more than often leave in the dress and the wig is at least easy to make vanish.
The feathers from boas, deely-boppers, hat brims and garters get everywhere. By the middle of the night it looks like a flock of bright parakeets have been preening themselves to baldness inside the club. By the end it looks like the flock's been ripped to pieces. This despite the efforts of the glass collecting staff and sticks covered in gaffer tape.
This is temporary and highly annoying but the clincher has to be glitter. Be it body paint, sparkly hats or just sprinkled liberally on drunken ladies this gets everywhere. It clings to sweaty surfaces and hides in the weave of fabrics. After having to get close to many drunken glitter bearing fools I can find the stuff emerging for days. It doesn't wash out in a hurry of hair or clothes. It'll transfer from one thing to another endlessly. It likes to emerge on my bag of spanners face or simple dark clothing at any opportunity likely to cause the greatest embarrassment, interviews, dates or passport photo-days.