Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Keep Pushing

I like to see how far I can push sometimes. When you've not a lot to do and you feel like flattening everyone in the room I like to find some muppet, generally a boy, who's doing something slightly naughty. Something petty like having his feet up on the leather seating, or wandering across the dancefloor to his mates with a drink in each hand. Nothing major, just the kind of thing I'd normally just warn and forget about.
I do warn, in a very obnoxious, brisk way. I use aggressive body language and follow it with a hard to read stare. The warning sticks but it ruins any good relationship we have built up. If I've got nothing better to do I'll keep the nasty stares. I place my oversize frame somewhere to block their view. If I have to I can keep this up for a few hours but I don't usually need to. I just keep pushing, when they head to the bar I deliberately chose then to check all's good with the barstaff. I give them a 20 second lead when they head for the gents. I let them know I've got it in for them and they get the gist very quickly.
They may come and front up to me, ask me what my problem is. They don't normally. They just take their frustrations out in beer or on anther punter. Then I get the fun of escorting them to the door and hear their pointless apparently paranoid ranting. All topped off with a 'good night sir' from the front step. It's not big, it's not clever but is it funny. Especially if you tip off your colleagues as to who you're pushing.