Friday, November 27, 2009

More eavesdropping

......and then she said she was pregnant. Pregnant! I know! I wouldn't knowingly leave her in charge of an uncapped fountain pen let alone a baby.

Oh him. Yes, well he has delusions of adequacy.

Yes, well someone with her I.Q. should have a low voice too.

When they say what you don't know can't hurt you, he should be practically invincible.

He was cast as the back end of the donkey. At least the front end was acting. I told her "Excuse me, but you're confusing me with someone who cares."

I think his only fuction in life is to make other people feel better about themselves.

I don't think he knows the meaning of the word fear, but then again, he doen't know the meaning of many words.

She said she was finding herself. I suspect she'll wish she hadn't bothered.

Well she looked to be lost in thought. I'm sure that was unfamiliar territory.

Oh look out here he comes. Tall, dark and obnoxious.

"He told me he was the man of my dreams."
"What did you say?"
"Only if I eat cheese before I go to bed."

I don't know what makes his mother so stupid but it really works.

His family were clearly paddling in the shallow end of the gene pool.

She whined so much I nearly offered her cheese and biscuits.

I wonder how many angels could dance on the new vicar's head?

That child. Did you see that child? What an advertisement for birth control.

But it's not just the cream that rises to the top is it Dear? So does the scum.

"She finally went to the doctor about that little problem, you know."
"Oh yes? Any diagnosis?"
"Well, like we thought really. Late onset lesbianism."

"We're going to Evita in January."
"Oh really? Will it be warm there then?"

"You're looking very red in the face."
"I've had some cheec alcophol."